Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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