My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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