If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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