he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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