you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
