just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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