You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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