she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
