So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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