i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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