clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So many bounce houses so little time
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
