Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm too high and old for this...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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