is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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