You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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