I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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