it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
