im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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