she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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