what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize