I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Found the puke drawer
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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