The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
