Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
