I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
