i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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