So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You did what with his pubic hair?
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