Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
