I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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