I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
