i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize