Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
