Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
