what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
