I'm drive I can fine osifer
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
