I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
