Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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