Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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