I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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