Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
