Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
