I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
