It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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