is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
