The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
