my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
don't judge my taste in strippers
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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