Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
