What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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