If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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