I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
