Your tits are I can't wait for
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
tell me about the eggs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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