We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
