Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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