in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
