So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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