either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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