My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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