So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
