just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
