butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
