Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
