never play flip cup with pint glasses
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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