listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
