My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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