I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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