No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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