You just made me feel so damn special
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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